Job: Papa Murphy's

Secrets:

1. If you're a dick, I'll charge you for toppings you don't order. If you're really nice, I won't charge you for toppings you do order.

2. If you're on your cell phone, I won't extend you the normal courtesies that we extend customers who order certain pizzas. Your pizza comes with the ranch sauce? Fine, you're getting it. What, you didn't know? Should've read the fucking sign instead of talking on your phone. You wanted your Hawaiian with BBQ sauce? Should've spoken up instead of talking on the phone, that's a special order.

3. If you call in your order and say you don't want to hear our specials, then you order a pizza that's on special, I won't give you the discount.

4. Our chain issues coupons for items that are going to be in-store specials. For example, if we're going to run a special on a pepperoni for a certain price, we'll also send out coupons for that special despite the fact that you don't need one. It's a form of advertising. Whether or not I inform you of this has to do entirely with your attitude. If you treat me like a human being, I'll let you know that it's an in-store special, that you don't need the coupon, and that you can hold onto it until after the special's run is over and use it to get the discount after that. If you do things like cut me off when I'm speaking, or ignore my greeting without so much as a "hello" in return and just launch into your order, or even worse just not speak at all and thrust your coupon at me, I'm taking it. If I know you've never been there before, I'll also add a little bit to the price and explain it as tax if it comes up, despite the fact that because our pizzas aren't baked they aren't taxable.

5. Just because we make your pizza in front of you doesn't mean we can't fuck with it. We're crafty, and we'll use that craft to do disgusting things to your food if you piss us off.

6. Yes, we think you're retarded if you didn't know you had to bake our pizzas. I understand that almost every pizzeria bakes your pizzas there, but that's why corporate goes to great lengths to show that we don't bake them. Examples: our logo says "Papa Murphy's Take and Bake pizza," or motto is "hand made, home baked," all of our posters show clearly unbaked pizzas, all of our TV advertisements say that our pizzas are unbaked, and there's a giant red and green neon sign outside every store that says "take and bake pizza." We think you're even more retarded if you know we're a take and bake store and still assume that we either deliver or slice the pizzas.

Protips:

1. Always order the family size pizza. It's $1 more than the large, $2 more than the medium, and it has 30% more pizza than the large, making it the best deal for the price by far.

2. If you order a family size pizza with a cheesy bread, cookie dough or cinnamon wheel, always get a 2-liter as well. This makes the price $2 more than the price of the pizza because it gets the meal deal discount. The sides by themselves sell for $2.99, so you actually end up getting more and paying $1 less.

3. If you're getting a large pizza with one of the aforementioned sides, it's only a penny more to make it a family size pizza and add a 2-liter.

I could also tell you about all the dumbfuck customer archetypes we get, but that's only barely on topic.

you sound like a dick

Seriously...grow the fuck up.

Most of those are just "I work at Outback Steakhouse and I spit in your food" posts.

Only to people who are dicks to me. Normally, I'll bend over backwards to hook people up with the best deals we have, get their pizzas out fast, tell them all the information they need about how to bake it, answer questions, let them know about our discounts, etc. I actually like my job, and I strive to be good at it.

But if somebody comes in acting all fucking superior to me just because they're older and I work in a food job while I'm in college because I'm not qualified for anything better yet, yeah, I'm gonna get back at them. It's how the food industry works, our restaurant is far from the only place that does shit like this.

And honestly, most of the things I say don't apply to every single case. If somebody calls in an order and orders something that's on special without listening to the specials, but they were otherwise nice or even just plain reasonable, I'll still give them the discount. I only do dickish things to the customers with a sense of superiority.

Papa Murphy's has nothing but stupid as fuck emo kids and confused stoner metal-heads working for them around here. Spit! I spit on the lot of them!

Haha, our store has 2 homeschooled kids, one Christian school kid, a high school dropout and 2 honors students.

Oh, I forgot to mention......I really, really love Papa Murphy's. Some really good stuff. The Papas Favorite is mmm mmmm.

Hells yeah. No black olives, though.

Everytime I read these threads It seems like everyone will give you free shit if you smile and don't act like a douchebag. This doesn't happen, ever.

You just don't notice. We have to ring you up for SOMETHING or we'll get fired.

Yeah you're a dick. Are you on commission or something? It's the decent thing to do to tell people about specials.

Definitely never heard of this strange, quasi-restaurant.

It's really a ripoff. You can get pizza delivered for the same price and it is higher quality usually.

Papa Murphy's is basically Sam's Club quality pizza at a higher cost.

I work at Dicks sporting goods in the footwear department. If you piss me off before I even bring your shoes out, I'll go in the back, get your shoes, and rub my dick and balls all over it. True story.

The costumer is always right. A young man in the working field must learn that before he wants to become respected among his peers.

Actually, my manager has been the manager of several other pizza stores, and the ingredients we order are of higher quality than all of them. It's fine if you like other pizza stores better, but we do order higher quality meats and vegetables.

Well of course he's going to tell you that

You know why you do your job the best you can all the time? Because you get paid for it and these customers that you're treating poorly are the only reason you have a job to begin with.

That.

You're there to work...not to have fun or be babied.

To me it doesn't matter how much I'm making, or what I'm doing for work. If I'm at work...I'm at work and that's what I'm going to do. It's still the same loss of time for myself no matter what I'm doing, what's so fucking hard about taking pride in your work and doing your best?

While at work you might as well suck it up and do your best. Work for a good recommendation...even at a shitty job. Fuck...there is even the off chance that that dick customer could be the hiring manager at whereever you finally apply for a real job.

I get a lot of free coffees from hot College/HS age chicks at Starbucks and Cutters Point, but other than that I don't notice any differences.

Most other places I go have dudes and bitchy older women working, so that may have something to do with my not getting free stuff there.

1. She

2. She's blatantly honest about how other jobs compare to her current job. She'll tell us what was better about other jobs and what's better about this one. One of the things that's better about this one is higher quality ingredients.

3. Srsly, they are better. The meats we order have the minimum amount of preservatives necessary to maintain a decent shelf life, thereby not diluting them, and the vegetables we order are, with the exception of olives, artichokes, banana peppers, sun-dried tomatoes and jalapenos, all cut from fresh product. The sun-dried tomatoes only come on one pizza by default, and the banana peppers and jalapenos don't come on any by default, they're a special additional topping you can order.




I do my job the best I can because I legitimately enjoy my job, I like my co-workers, manager and assistant manager, and I like the majority of our customers, especially the regular ones whom I know by name. I've been offered jobs with better pay, but I rejected them because I like this job better. The actions I talk about here represent how I treat a very small percent of our overall very pleasant customer base.

One more time, I only treat customers this way who act disrespectful towards me first. Just because I work in the service industry does not mean I'm less of a human being, and I deserve to be treated with the same common courtesy that people treat other human beings with. When you talk to people you know, you don't cut them off mid-sentence, avoid eye contact and thrust a piece of paper at them that tells them what you want to say, so why should I be cut off when I'm in the middle of a friendly greeting (which is seriously just "hello" with a smile, and if they look lost an inquiry as to whether they've been here before and if they have any questions) as someone thrusts a coupon at me and says without even looking in my direction "I want one of those?"

Why is it unacceptable to talk on your cell phone when you're hanging out with somebody or in a movie theater, but perfectly peachy to hold up a line of people who already know what they want to order while you call your spouse on the cell phone to see what to order? Seriously, some people even wait in line all the way up until the point that they're actually at the register about to place an order, and only then do they pull out the cell phone and begin dialing. That's extremely rude, regardless of whether I'm working or not. So excuse me if I let people that have already made up their mind order ahead of them and act more polite to the people that return my respect than to those that don't.

If I'm not going to be treated with respect, why should I return it? If you come up to the register carrying on a conversation on your cell phone, and without so much as saying "hang on a minute, I'm about to order a pizza" and pausing the conversation for the 45 seconds it takes to make an order without being a bitch, and instead just say "I want a family size gourmet chicken garlic" and then go right back to the conversation, sometimes actually having the gall to scrunch up your face and BRUSH ME OFF AS I READ YOU THE TOTAL FOR YOUR ORDER, excuse me if I don't inform you that the sauce on that particular pizza is ranch dressing with chopped garlic and that you have the option of switching to any other sauce, including regular pizza sauce, at no extra charge. You've obviously prioritized your conversation over the pizza you're ordering, so I won't interrupt it to tell you things you might want to know. If I can tell that the conversation is important, I'll wait until they're done and let them know things like that, especially because those particular people usually say something like "I'm sorry, this is my job on the line," but if the conversation is along the lines of "oh my god, and then I told Jenny that those shoes were cute but really they were SOOOO ugly and I feel bad for lying but I would have felt like a bitch if I told her the truth and it's just a little white lie so it doesn't really matter and eventually somebody will tell her anyway right?" then I don't give a shit, that can wait until you're done ordering at the least.



Nothing. Like I said, I like my job a lot and I take some great pride in it. I'm always on time, usually a little early, and I start working as soon as I get there and don't stop until I leave, which is more than you can say for about 85% of our staff.

It just so happens that I do have fun at work, but because I like my coworkers and we have some entertaining conversations as I work, not because I'm treating the place like a playground.

I'm not expecting to be babied. I realize I work in the service industry, and that my job is to serve the customer and the company. I realize that I'm low on the job totem pole. But I expect to be treated with some common decency instead of like a low-life savage. I'm not expecting anyone to kiss my ass or tell me I'm great, just to not treat me like I'm some necessary evil on the way to them getting their food.




I do my best every day I'm at work, and my manager recognizes that and schedules me more than anyone except for the assistant manager despite the fact that I'm leaving this August and she should probably be hiring and training a new employee right now. I've already applied to another job in the city I'm moving to, and I got a sparkling recommendation from my manager both for that job and for a scholarship I applied for this year. I'm probably not the fastest employee there, (in fact, I can tell you right now that I'm not) but I constantly stay busy and give every task my full effort.

A Janitor who works to the best of his ability at whatever he's doing, lives free and for himself, expecting nothing from anyone, is more impressive to me than any movie star or whatnot, not because I symphathize with what would generally be a poor person, but because he works and lives for himself.

I'm also a pretty big supporter of most portions of Ayn Rand's philosophies so etc.

"sorry honey i have to hang up, this lesbian at papa murphy's is glaring at me"

ITT, dicks.

I'm not going to list my company since it is smaller and easily traceable, but I will tell work secrets.

We overcharge like hell. We bend over backwards for the customer and will do basically anything remotely computer related (set up PS3, home theatre, program Blackberries, etc, etc) but we overcharge. If we take a look at your PC and spend ten minutes on it you will be charged $100.

We are also extremely irresponsible with customer data. I've tried telling my boss this, but we should really blank all customer hard drives that come in if we're going to resell them or use them in another PC, but for time reasons we don't. Of course most of our customers are too dumb to recover data, but still...

We laugh at the porn on your PC, you sick beastiality watching freak.

Last one made me lol.

I think I may love you.

I'll start off with my first job, McDonald's: Don't eat there. Everything is gross, except maybe the grilled chicken sandwiches/salads. Every breakfast item is soaked in margarine. The beef hardly qualifies as beef. The fries are coated with beef fat, so not even vegetarians have business eating them.

And then there was Sears. Half the shit you buy is returned. Most of it is a ripoff. The return policy is gay.

I can say shitloads about the corporate job I've had the longest, which was Sunglass Hut, but that's long and will have to wait.

Papa Murphy's is cool because they accept food cards because it's not cooked/prepared food. PF is certainly far too concerned with what his customers do with their lives though. How often do people talk on their cell phones where it is truly distracting them and holding up the line? First off when is there ever a fucking LINE in papa murphy's and second, why does it affect you? Don't fuck with their fucking food, you stupid motherfucking piece of shit. Ugh. You give everyone that works with food a bad name. Why don't you just fucking speak up and say EXCUSE ME, MR/MRS. CELL PHONE, DO YOU MIND ANSWERING MY FUCKING QUESTION?

The answer is not that often, which is why I'll say again that I only do this to a few customers. Like, not even one a day. Probably not even one a week. Maybe two a month.

There's a line in there pretty often. Pretty much every food place on the face of the earth gets a rush at certain parts of the day, and we're certainly no exception.

It affects me because customers are only supposed to wait so long for their food, and the douchebag holding up the entire line makes them wait longer which reflects poorly on all of us. I'd rather show that I care about the customer by letting customers that have decided go ahead and order instead of having to wait on a single customer. One bad apple doesn't HAVE to spoil a whole bunch.

Why don't I speak up? Long story short, I get in more serious trouble for that.

I personally don't fuck with people's food. I think that's a step too far. There are other things I do, but fucking with food is not one of them because in most cases the pizza is for more people than just the one person that's being a bitch, and that group often includes children. Other people I work with disagree with me on that stance and so they do it, but I still think it counts as a "work secret" despite the fact that I'm not a worker who does it.

I get high and sit on your roof and my company charges you 90 bucks an hour. Most of the time we're doing shit that doesn't even need to be done.


Other times I work my ass off. But I usually just scam and get high.

5. Just because we make your pizza in front of you doesn't mean we can't fuck with it. We're crafty, and we'll use that craft to do disgusting things to your food if you piss us off.

I never said that I personally do it. We refers to the group of people I work with.

Including yourself...or you should've said they >_>

Everytime someone accuses you of something, you get all uptight and defensive. Just shut the fuck up, this could have been an interesting topic and still can be.

Fine, then contribute something. Post work secrets or STFU.

I never charge people "For Here" tax. It's a stupid concept.

SECRET IS OUT

Telemarketing rules. You can show up stoned, make like three calls and maybe make the campaign 35 or 50 dollars for the whole day and that's viewed as a success. The rest of the time you can go on youtube and there's a Jimmy John's right across the street during your breaks. 8 dollars an hour.

I worked at Papa Murphy's for a while. It sucked.
Did you mention that ordering a mediterranean when it's not on special is a bad idea, given the herb chicken isn't used anywhere near frequently and usually just sits out for days before being refilled?
"Thank you for choosing papa murphys in cedar falls, this is Mike, would you like to hear our specials (SAY NO ASSHOLE)"
Also, Kefka, there can be pretty damn big rushes there, especially if like ten people order stuffed pizzas in a row.

OMG stuffed pizzas ARRRRGH. It's the worst when you're making one and then somebody comes in and sees it and goes "oooh, what's that?" and you KNOW they're going to get one too. I don't mind making them so much, but making a string sucks ass.

We stopped making the actual herb chicken whenever the Mediterranean isn't on special, since nobody ordered it otherwise. If someone orders it outside of special we just use the regular chicken and sprinkle extra herbs on it, since that's basically the same thing.

We just used the herb chicken and it was dry as fuck. I have no idea how people knew about it if it wasn't on special because it's not normally on the menu (at least it wasn't when I worked there), but they did order it.
If someone opened a cheese pizza/single-topping vegetable/ground beef/sausage restaurant they could save fortunes on labor

They already do, it's called Little Ceasars and it's easily the best pizza chain.

Blockbuster

-You actually have 10 days after the due date to bring in rentals
-We usually lie about watching movies just so you rent it and leave
-If your a dick, you are not getting a copy of Jumper
-We only try to upsell you stuff because we get tons of shit for it, don't get pissed

You work at Blockbuster? Awesome. My friend does too. Did you work when Borat came out on DVD? How many calls did you get asking if what was in the case was the real movie?

Alot. People would actually come all the way back to the store just to check. It was great.

Did you get many complaints about the Bridge to Terabithia? Apparently that was a dark, dark week for both cinema and BBV.

UPS:

- United Steel Workers > The International Brotherhood of Teamsters

- Writing "Fragile - Handle with Care" on a box is not a substitute for proper packaging methods. Shipping large quantities of bull semen in appropriately labeled containers however, will get you especially careful handling. Last thing I need is to have to call in a haz-mat clean-up on a floor full of bull jizz in my load.

Jumper is really hot, or something?


Why were there complaints? (I actually saw the movie and am curious . . . )

Well it was marketed as a child's movie and...well, bitch got hung.