Have you guys ever wondered why beautiful women get with assholes or why you feel compelled to correct someone if they believe and utter something completely bullshit (ex. the earth is flat)? I wondered these things for a long time. How do you guys feel about the idea that one does these things to "maintain their reality". I've read a lot of information on this subject. I really believe that is the driving force behind what most humans strive for. It's the reason why most people are scared to do something out of their comfort zone. They fear distorting their concept of "what's real".

Back to my first example: You guys ever see that retarded reality show on VH1 about pick-up artists or whatever? While the show was complete shit, it offered a great example of how beautiful women try to maintain their reality. The host claimed that when using "negs" or saying "something offensive to a women on the first impression" will cause her to feel attracted to you because she is not used to most guys doing that. True, for the most part. Every loser in a bar, for the most part, will walk up to a cute girl and try to hit on her...which maintains her reality and you get blown out. Then take the asshole. He walks up to her and says some backhanded compliment that causes her to gasp. If he plays his cards right, she'll begin to flirt with him. You'll notice in the show however that as soon as the guys begin to flirt back, the girl loses interest. A simple, somewhat dumb example, but you get the point. *Note: We're talking about outstandingly attractive, ditzy club girls; however, it still applies to most mildly attractive girls. No girl wants to be caught up in a boring conversation, which is what most guys attempt to do in bars and clubs...or at least my friends do.

Anyone else see things this way? I'm sure there are other driving forces in humans such as ego, self-worth, ect. I just thought I'd share my thought on this concept. I don't know, it's pretty interesting to me.

That's a bad example.


I think people are prone to do things routinely. It's human nature. When we were basically wild animals, everyday, we probably did the same things over and over just to survive. It's probably just a survival instinct that we still have.

And treating a girl like shit, ignoring her or acting different than other guys just make you stand out to them. They probably hear/see the same shit from guys all the time so when you act different they wonder "what the fuck is so different about this guy". Ya know, you eat pizza every fucking day and eventually anything else sounds better.

But I'll come back when I'm less stoned because I think this is a good topic.

Even if you're right it seems to me like it doesn't matter.

I don't know how you would test that, though, or really what you're getting at.

Your example is only slightly different than mine. When the girl wonders "what the fuck is going on here", that is the guy altering her reality.

And people are prone to do things routinely, yes. You can't deny though that our reality of what things ought to be or should be does not dictate our lives. Over time, many of our instincts have been destroyed by modern constrained realities. For example, humans have always been social creatures. Try getting on a bus next time and notice how it's quiet. The only people talking are usually the friends or people on their cell phones. For someone to just walk on a bus and start talking to everyone is looked at as "unusual". But notice next time when someone does that how everyone on the bus will be drawn to them, or at least take notice.

I'll give another example of how powerful realities can be. Did you ever wonder how some of the most idiotic people can win arguments? It's because although they may be completely wrong, they have a stronger reality of what they believe to be true. My professor did an example during class one time where he began the lecture by stating that he jumped out of his 5 story apartment. He said it very passively. One of the "know-it-all" students questioned him about it. He argued that gravity would not allow him to jump that far and be fine. The professor kept calm and would not give him reality away. He argued simple examples such as "If i jump off a 1 story ledge I'm fine so I must be able to jump off a 5 story ledge and be fine". It was funny to see some of the other students begin to question their reality of gravity and even the know-it-all fag began to stutter. Granted, my professor is extremely witty and intelligent, but all he did during the argument was present a stronger reality.

Again, maybe I'm spouting bullshit and this entire subject is retarded, but it's just interesting to think about. It definitely makes your day go by quicker when you constantly observe social cues like this.

I wouldn't call that "reality" though. You're not really changing anyones reality, you're just doing something out of the norm. Anything outside "the box" will draw attention or different reactions. Reality is reality, it really can't be changed.

Saying that if you can jump off of 1 story and be fine so you must be fine from jumping out of a 5 story building just sounds stupid. If you sound like you're confident in what you're saying, then it makes most people double think, even if they know the answer is wrong. Also, I'd imagine that depends on your status compared to who you're talking to too. Like, if some homeless retard said that, I doubt anyone would double think it. But because it's someone with authority who has respect from the people "lower then him" (the students) I can see how people would have to double think it. But that's more of just being persuasive.

I get what you're saying, but I don't think explaining it as "changing someone's reality" or their general perspective of reality is the right way to say it.

Yeah, I realize I'm not explaining this well. The concept is so abstract that it's hard to explain unless you go out and notice it first hand.

The act of persuasion and altering someone's reality are basically the same ideas, though I'm sure many would argue differently. You brought up a good point about respect (or higher status). My dad used to be in the Navy and he said he would walk up to new recruits and tell them they looked sea sick. Regardless if they were or not, just the fact his reality was stronger and him having more status, the thought became their reality and sure enough, not long after they were puking in the bathroom. It's funny that someone with just an ounce of higher status can have such an influence on other people. I mean, hell, look at the popular kids in high school. I have also found myself agreeing with my old bosses or some shit back in the day or laughing at their stupid jokes. Until I realized the concept of social status, I didn't even notice it. There are many factors in changing someone's reality.

We're basically saying the same thing.

You say potato, I say patato.

It's spelled the same way though. =-P

I feel compelled to correct utter bullshit because I want a better life for my children, for the planet, etc. That involves educating people. How to prove the world is not flat, eh?

I dunno, this all seems retarded to me. I don't just listen blindly to people because they're in a position of power. And I don't feel compelled to correct people all the time. And I don't feel drawn to things just because they're uncommon.

I'm sure that are hundreds of things you do on a daily basis to maintain your reality, you just don't realize because most people look on the surface of things.

Yeah, I know. I have spell check. I just wanted to make it apparent.

Well, what I meant is that things outside of the normal seem to stick out in peoples heads. That, in itself, can make people think differently than normal. I'm pretty sure we've all been though it. An example would be being a normal asshole at a fast food place compared to being very nice and making jokes with the employees. If they are used to assholes all day, then they get a nice guy, then sometimes they hook you up. All because you acted different than normal.


And a lot of people are influenced by their "heroes" or people they look up to. Not everyone, but there's leaders and there's followers, a lot less leaders than followers, or so it seems.

Honestly, I'm pretty discontent with reality. I don't think I'm really grasping this concept and/or it's silly.


Well, I'm influenced by people I look up to, but not so much on a case-by-case basis. I won't make up my mind on an issue just because that's what my mom thinks, but because of how she raised me and who I am I respect her opinion and agree with her on a lot of things.

I do get that weird things stick out in your mind slightly, but I don't put that much value on that in most situations. I know that companies spend many millions trying to make their stuff memorable, even in a negative way, but I'd be really, really surprised if that has ever made a difference to me.

You only THINK you don't blindly follow authority. The odds are incredibly against you on that statement, however. See: Milgram experiment, Sheridan-King experiment, Asch conformity experiment, Stanford prison experiment, Nuremberg trials, etc. and read a book called The Wave by Todd Strauser. It's uncomfortable to think about, but humans are by nature conforming creatures with a deep-seeded evolutionary herd mentality that listen to people we believe to be in power because so far it's been good for the survival of our species. Everybody who reads about experiments like the ones I listed likes to think they'd be the exception, and even Milgram himself predicted that less than 1% of people tested would actually "shock" the "learner" to death. However, the likelihood is that you'll listen to a person you think is in power over you.

As for the whole maintaining your reality thing, I'm not really sure how to approach it. It's a very subjectivist opinion, and I'm definitely an objectivist myself, so I'll have to do some thinking on this one.

Yeah, I've heard of a few of those experiments. And I'm not basing this on nothing. I've been told stupid shit before and been like no thx. A couple of times it turned out there was a reason for it, though.

I'm not saying I won't listen to people in charge of me. I'm just saying I won't do it blindly. And I really don't think that's special.

Read the end (or I highly recommend the entire book) of Fountainhead where the character Elseworth Toohey explains to the one of the main characters, Keating, the herd mentality*see clown's post* of men. Ayn Rand explains this concept so eloquently. Every society in history has preached that happiness is not an individual practice, but a collective one. Happiness is actually a default state for humans, but we've been taught anything that makes us happy is bad (sex,indulging in ourselves,ect), we should put others ahead of ourselves and most importantly, we should seek value in other people. That's where a lot of our reality is dictated from. Leaders throughout history have understood the concept that if they can offer hope and/or value to men and thus supply them with happiness, they can control the minds of anyone. Most people are exactly like sheep. The ones who aren't and preach TRUE selflessness and peace usually get assassinated.

The issue of "maintaining your reality" goes far deeper than the surface and no way this topic, especially me and my shitty way of explaining things, will ever cover all of it, or even come close to it for that matter. I would highly suggest you guys looking into these ideas. It drastically changes your perception on how the world works. Hell, even if it doesn't it's quite interesting.

Nice thread, I dont know where to start with it. Personally I think quite a few of us can benefit from having our reality shattered every now and again, but you cant blame us for wanting things to be a certain way, especially when everything is going good at the time.

Maintaining your reality? That sounds like a superfluous way of saying people don't like their generalizations fucked with.

Maintaining your reality vs. people don't like their generalizations fucked with

Which one is more superfluous? And did you even read the fucking topic?

That could be said for any drug.