I just woke up and have to take a slam, but my roommate is in the shower. he takes 45 min showers....

yeah, he probably spanks it a few times.

So what would you do?

Forget about him and go ahead.

If he comes out of the shower while you're on the pot, it'll make for good conversation.

Throw poop at him, obviously.

Spanks it a few times? Jesus, has no one any stamina anymore?

Dude, it's masterbation, who's he trying to impress? The goal is usually get off as fast as you can.

Open the door and spank it on him.

flush the tolet 5 time tell him to hurry the fuck up!lol

Sink?

I'd go use someone else's bathroom. Good way to meet people in your apartment building? >__>

News to me. I spend a half hour to an hour each time.

Oh, and it's MASTURBATION!

Yeah, I was gonna say, the goal is to enjoy yourself, and maybe practice for lasting longer when it comes time for the real thing.

A shower wank always takes me about 45 minutes. By then the water is cold and I can't take an actual-cleanmyself-shower.

HAHA! You could take a 3 hours shower at my house and the water would probably end up being warmer at the end.

Forced Hot Water FTW

Wait, take a slam as in, defecate?

I was going to say I'd just go in the alley, but, well, now I think I'd drive to McDonalds a couple blocks away and use their bathroom.

I'd slam his ass if that is kind of slamming you are talking about, otherwise take a slam on his face in the middle of the night

Take a dookie on his bed.

All of these suggestions are, while fun, not practical.

Just shit in a Tupperware container. One of those crappy ones you can just throw away.

or a plastic bag.

or in his shoe.

Make sure to get it far inside so that he doesn't notice it until he puts his foot in.