Due to certain Fagbox 9000s in the other topic taking up valuable quote space, we will now all quote The Simpsons - the universal show of funny.

"Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? Why did I have the bowl?!"

XD.

"What's weird is this is exactly what dad said would happen."
"I know kids. I'm scared too."



"DAD! WE DID SOMETHING TERRIBLE!"
"Did you crash the car?"
"No..."
"Did you raise the dead?"
"YES!"
"But the car's okay?"
"Uh-huh..."
"Alright then."

d'oh

"I AM NOT A NUMBER, I AM A MAN. AND FURTHERMO-Oh wait, I'm number 6."

"Hello. I'm Mr. Burns. I believe you have some mail for me."
"Alright Mr. Burns, what's your first name?"
"I don't know."

"So, what do you think of today's popular music scene?"
"I think it distracts people from more important social issues."
"My God, are you always on?"

"*After seeing a bear maul his mailbox.* Looks like bad luck for the...*squints* IMPSON family!"

"Dad, driving over tombstones is bad luck."
"Really? I heard good..."

"I predict this will be the last we'll hear of Prohibition..."

"Gee Homer, you sure do suck tonight."
"Yeah, suck like a fox!"

"Did you know it was a burlesque house?"

"Oh fudge, that's broken... Fiddle dee dee! That will require a tetanus shot. I'm not going to swear, but I am going to BREAK THIS DOG HOUSE DOWN"

Oh man, I just remembered one that makes me laugh even thinking of it.

"Lisa, you can't fight City Hall - a.k.a. Blocko-Land."

XD

The VH1 Behind The Laughter episode has some great ones, too.

"Fame was like a drug; but what was even more like a drug were the drugs."

*sniff*sniff*

"What's wrong homer?"

"We're gonna have sex."

"How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

"Dad, what's a muppet?"
"Well, it's not quite a mop and it's not quite a puppet. But boy...*shakes head and laughs*...
So to answer your question: I don't know."

Alright, I'm done for now.

B.T.Barlow: Mr. Mayor, I have a question for you.....what if YOU came home one night to find your family tid up and gagged, with SOCKS in their mouths.They're screaming.Your trying to get in but there's too much BLOOD on the knob!!!!!
Quimby: What is your question about?
B.T.Barlow: It's about the budget sir.


XD

Bart: You're gay for Moleman!

XD

"The Internet? Is that thing still around?"

I love the beginning of that episode where he tries to talk into the mouse of the PC and then in the next frame it's in the trash outside.

Mayor Quimby: Yes there is a comet and yes it is heading for our town. (Scattered clapping) You uh, don't need to applaud that.



Chief Wiggum: Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2.


I forget what was happening in this episode. Something about the lottery I think.

Homer: Okay, I'm never going to win Father Of The Year. In fact, I'm probably the last guy in the world that should have kids... wait, let me rephrase that. I love my kids. I'd do anything for Bart and Lisa.
Judge: And Margaret?
Homer: Who? Lady, you must have the wrong file.
Marge: She's talking about Maggie.
Homer: Oh, Maggie. I've got nothing against Maggie.

I bent my wookie

C:/Dos C:/Dos/Run Run/Dos/Run

Grandpa: Boy there sure are a lot of ugly people in your town...ooooh! There's one!

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo! Four-day weekend!

This should really be Velcro'd.

Lisa: At this rate, I'm gonna end up at Vassar.
Homer: I've had just about enough of this Vassar bashing!

Homer: What's a wedding? Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one's garden.

"Come on people, someone ordered the London Symphony Orchestra. Possibly while high...Cypress Hill, I'm looking in your direction."

I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down."