QUOTE(Paraphen @ Apr 9 2007, 09:13 PM)
I've cleaned my ears like three times today, and I've only been home for about three hours total.
I do the elaborate, made up scenarios thing a lot, especially since I started doing drugs. Once at work I was totally like, zoned out from the rest of the world, for three hours, until I realized that in my head I'd been narrating a History Channel special about a zombie apocalypse of sorts, and I was like "Man, that never even happened, what the hell."
If I have a knife in my hands, unless something forces me to put it down right away, it'll be in my hands for probably an hour at least, because I like to like, hold knives? Most of the knives in my house are real sharp though, as a side effect of this, and my coffee table has a lot of stab marks. Also I just cut a notch out of my desk and shaved some hair off a patch of my arm.
Sometimes, the simplest things make me incredibly depressed. I was watching TV once, at like 5 in the morning, and an infomercial came on for one of those not-quite-a-vacuum's, where you just roll over the carpet and it picks it up. They demonstrated it by spilling some cereal on a rug and picking it up, and I was just sitting there, thinking like "man, if I spill shit on the floor, I'll have to pick it up. . . that fucking sucks."
I act towards animals and inanimate objects pretty much as though they were human beings, except their name is just <whatever the object is>. So when my dog would make a mess in the house, I'd just be like "Look, dog. You're not exactly starving to death here, you know? So, would it kill you to just, I don't know, not knock shit all over the floor trying to steal food off the counter? Because cleaning that up, it's kind of a pain in the ass, and you're sure as shit not going to do it."
Wow, all this sounds just like me.
And this.
1. I talk to babies and animals like they are my peers or whatever. Always in full sentences and always like they are talking back. I guess I just look at them, imagine what they would say by how they look, and respond.
2. I hear voices (or something like that) in my head and talk to myself constantly. I can have full converstations before I know it's happening. It makes it nearly impossible to sleep at night sometimes. I'll also think up of every possible thing that could happen to me and how I will respond to it or ways to respond to it. It can be anything from what I'll say if my dad catches me smoking a cigarette in the living room to what I'll do if the cops do a bust on my house.
3. I pace the house over and over when on the phone, talking to anyone there, waiting for someone to come home, waiting for a call, ect. I usually will walk all the way across the house, tap something, walk back, check the window, then do it all over again. Usually with the exact same amount of steps and everything.
4. I don't have to have to water run when I go to the bathroom but I almost turn it on every time. I got used to it because I used to live in a small house where you could hear everything from the bathroom, and I don't like people listen to me take a shit.
5. I sleep on my stomach/side and when I can't fall asleep I will twitch my foot, bounce my leg, pelvic thrust, ect. over and over again for hours to try to get myself tired. It can look weird.
6. I scratch my pubes with the remote when I'm really into watching tv for some reason. Yeah, I know. It's sick.
I dunno I got more.
wetting them with rubbing alcohol makes it even better!
Awesome, I would do the same thing. I think it's a combination of scottish accents sounding really super awesome in general, especially a girl with a scottish accent, and then swearing w/ a scottish accent? Sign me up. 
You should do another one, with swearing! Hahaha.