I work in the beer industry, and basically go around to grocery stores at 5-6 am helping them set up new displays and points of sales to put new shipments of beer in, which I then carry out to the sales floor. The fun part about this is, at 5-6 am in your average grocery store, the customer base in there at the time happens to be somewhere along the lines of batshit weird to fucking creepy to possibly Canadian.

For example, today I'm putting out some Pabst Blue Ribbon (aka Goat Piss) displays at a Fred Meyer when this 300-lb. 50-year-old lady comes up to me:

: Excuse me, what kind of beer should I get that's cheap and comes in a large size? I don't plan to drink it, I'm just asking.
: Uh, probably the Pabst Blue Ribbon 40 oz. It's not good to drink anyway, but why aren't you going to?
: I have a slug problem in my backyard.
: ...
: For my slugs in my garden, I like to drench them in beer, preferably big bottles, to kill them instead of using other methods.
: Why would you want to use beer of all things to do that?
: Oh, because I don't like using salt on slugs and watching their bodies dissolve. I think it's cruel. So I figure if I just drown them and get them drunk, they'll die a much happier death, don't you think?
: ...You're going to mercy kill a slug with a 40 oz. of beer?
: Yeah, pretty much.
: ...*goes back to stocking beer cases*

I also had some senile old WWII vet come up to me while I was putting up some Coors Light...to be continued...



Old WWII vet story:

: Hey there, sonny. I just wanted to tell you something...
: Huh? What's that?
: I think you have the greatest job in the world and you're so lucky to be able to do this.
: Yeah, look at me...I'm stocking beer...it's pretty rad.
: What's your favorite kind of beer?
: I really don't drink beer, honestly. Which is ironic considering my job, but I prefer whiskey.
: (completely ignores this and keeps talking) Y'know, my wife and I have always had a tradition of buying Bud Light when we get beer, and we've been doing it for years and passing it along to our children. Now my grandson, however, he broke the tradition and got Coors Light instead.
: ....So?
: Well I tried some the other day, and it's pretty good, so now we drink it whenever my wife and I run out of Bud Light. But lemme tell you, our grandson catches us quite a bit sneaking his Coors Light, and he runs into the kitchen and he's like *starts waving his arms, he literally acted this shit out* "I CAUGHT YOU, YOU OLD FART! GO GET YOUR BUD LIGHT AND STAY OUT MY KITCHEN!"
Anyway, enjoy your day, sonny. *buys a 6-pack of Bud Light and walks away after letting out a huge fart*

These stories would fail without the smilies to represent you and the customers...but the end of the second story is win.

I stopped reading as soon as you bashed PBR.

Grow up a couple years, you might learn what real alcohol is.

Tell that to my pocketbook.

Bud Light > Coors Light.

Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!

You guys are forgetting Newcastle, the best widely avaliabe ale.

Silver Bullet > all as far as frat boy brews go. Bud Light tastes like what comes out of my dick after I drink Coors Light.

It never fails. As soon as PBR gets mentioned, somebody breaks out Frank Booth.

Rolling Rock is the best cheap beer, in my opinion.

THIS IS THE WORST FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT EVER

No u guyz Keystone lite ftw!

Corona obviously. Mexican piss water ftw.

Drink, high, tired, or just forgot how to use the keyboard?

Fuck you.

Guys I just drank 100000 vodkas m i drunk

no u ded

I don't understand? How can you say PBR is a bad beer.

Wow, some people trying to be nice to you. How strange. Actually sounds like you were kinda being an ass to them, ya know. They were just trying to be nice and talk to you a little bit. Probably thought it can be boring stocking beer so they would shoot the shit a little with ya.

And lets be serious now, the old man didn't fart did he. You just needed a punchline to the story, lol.

Actually, he did. And it's hard for me to be an ass when I really didn't say much of anything.

because it is? I just like it because it's cheap

THAT'S WHAT YOU GOT FOR CHEAP!

I FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT

Yeah, c'mon guys, listen to Trog. He's probably been drunk like ten whole times and has a friend's older brother to totally buy him beer whenever he wants it, he's an expert at this.

Probably all of them. Haha.

PBR is a really good beer for it's price, I think. I think it's like top tier of the ridiculously cheap beer. I mean there's keystone ice that I think is a little cheaper but ugh. PBR is so much better. Besides, it comes in cans so you can just stab a hole in the top and chug it hella fast. >_>

lol

If you're going to get 24 beers but you don't want to spend more than 11 dollars....PBR is the least shitty...(?)

Dude, don't you know that all people who live in Eugene are bat shit insane?

EDIT: Yes, this includes you zeebs

anyone could tell you Corona is fucking gross and only fratties drink it. Also, you don't know shit about me, suck a fat dick, no homo.

In all fairness, Corona sucks.

I like cutting up limes and shoving lime slices in teh coronaz. I think that's the only way I've had corona, and no complaints here.

But...you shouldn't have to add fruit to beer to make it taste good. I drink it that way, too, because straight Corona is nasty....but beer should be tasty and satisfying all on its own.

And now I really want some beer.

Beer is never tasty IMO. There's drinkable beer, and there's gross beer, that's about it in my book. I too, however, want some beer, though I'd prefer wine or hard a.

Nate drinks corona. AND HE'S NOT A FATTY YOU ASSCHUNK.

fratties, not fatties. Learn to read.

oh shit. well he's not that either. And you're still an asschunk.

I don't understand people who drink beer when there's real liquor available.

Is it for the taste?

see avatar/sig plz


pabst blue ribbon k

The calories. Mmmm, calories.

I agree. All beer is nasty, some are a little less nasty. Wine is ok, but it's kinda like beer to me (I'll drink it if I have to, but I only drink it to get drunk, not for taste). When I drink, I perfer hard shit 70 proof and up. It takes a lot to get me drunk and my stomach just cannot hold 20+ beers in a night anymore.

Beer tastes good, good beer tastes better.

My stomach can barely hold one, but I can drink whiskey or Soco like a motherfucker.

Yeah it's weird. Beer just fills me up, in a bad way. And I'll be burping the shit all night.