Ok. So everyone has stories. Almost everyone has funny things that happened to them and whatnot. Well think of this topic like a party. A party where everyone is way to fucking wasted. A party where the funny/weird stories are shooting out of peoples asses.

This is that place.

There was this one time I ate boiled peanuts...

This one time I was watching this funny TV show-- it was-- I can't really remember it, but it was really funny-- then I had an idea for a dream vacation, I mean, I had the spread, okay? The beach, the hotel-- then I wrote all this, all this down, wrote it all down, really wrote it, like 5 pages-- fuckin' lost it. You want a dream vacation? Forget it.

One time I was slaved for being a black man.

Those were bad times.

One time back in January this girl I know from my university ended up dragging me to a rave. I had never been before, never intended on going to one ever, and honestly only went because I figured it would lead to some ass later on in the night.

She doesnt do drugs at raves, though, she just drinks. She gets batshit insane drunk and just goes and gets fuckin wild when she dances. So wild she's impossible to dance with, at all. So I get pretty drunk on the way down there (the rave takes place in Cincinnati, and if I could remember the name of it I would tell you, but I can't.) and she's already trashed, so we're both just feelin pretty good. It was just a total buzzkill, however, to see her just dance to the point of like hurting people if she came into contact with them and stuff, so I just ended up sitting at the bar and getting completely sloshed.

All of a sudden some sketchy trick-ass mark comes up to me and tries to start talking to me and shit, sayin how I looked bored and needed a "pick me up." It didnt take a retard to figure out he was trying to sell me some ex, but I ended up not caring and taking two tablets anyways.

In any case, I don't remember much of the night after that. I remember dancing with a couple chicks, roaming all over the dance floor looking for water, and getting hit in the eye by one of those long, thin glow sticks, but that's about it before I just went blackout.

I wake up the next morning butt-ass naked on a couch in a house I don't recognize at all. I look around for my clothes, but I got nothing...just a blanket and my socks. After laying there scared as fuck for like 45 minutes just wide awake wondering where I was and if it was safe to walk around this house with no clothes on, these two blazin hot chicks come in from what looks like a jog or aerobics or something. They laugh when they see me awake, and proceed to explain to me that I am in Lexington (wtf??) Kentucky, and that my clothes are upstairs in some chick named Samantha's room. Neither of them were Samantha, though (disapointing).

I went upstairs to the room Samantha was supposed to be in, and knock on the door. Nothing. Knock again, and again nothing. After three knocks and no answer, I just go in, and there she is butt-ass naked as well with not even a blanket just passed out on her bed. In the process of finding, picking up and putting all my clothes back on, I wake Sam up, and she just sees me and laughs. I asked her what happened the night before, because the other two chicks wouldn't tell me much, and she explains everything:

I was out of control at the rave. Trying to make out with everybody (which is how I met Samantha), dancing like a retard, insisting on drinking more, just the whole nine yards. Apparantly they got out of me that I was there with Bennette (the batshit insane drunk girl) and a couple other buddies from school. We managed to find one of the guys, and Samantha apparantly told him that they were gonna take me home. I don't know what the fuck my buddy was thinking saying "OK," but he told me later he thought I knew them and they meant Wittenberg home, not Lexington home. Whatever.

Once we are back at Samantha's house, her and I apparantly (remember, I was blacked out...don't remember any of this) just started going at it. She didn't tell me many details and shit like that, but she made it pretty clear that we just hooked up all night long, which explained the clothes. I was kind of pissed though because she said we did have sex without a condom....

In any case the real owner of the house was some big black dude named Jerome, who I met while eating a bowl of his Cap'n Crunch about an hour after Sam explained everything to me. He was pissed, confused, and most importantly....pissed. I told him I was here with Sam, and she came down and explained everything to him. He just looked at me and laughed after that.

As it turned out, Jerome had to end up taking me home because none of my friends were driving down to Lexington to get me (great batch they are). Most awkward car ride ever...plus, he made me give him 40 dollars for gas when he drives a Toyota Hybrid...which in no way takes a whole tank of gas to get from Lexington to Springfield. I wasn't gonna complain though, I was just glad to be home.


Son of a bitch that took a long time to type out. That's probably my greatest drunk story, though...I have a lot of good ones, but nothing tops that one.

Ah fucking SHIT man! That's absolutely crazy! Sounds like a good time.

That's a good one. I got a few. Let me buy some booze so I can get drunk and tell them right.

One time we were having a party at my friend's house, and after night fell we went down to his basement and were drinking and smoking and shit, and someone made an offhand comment about how it sucked that the kegs were upstairs on the patio and we had to go up their for beer, so I wandered through his house, found a door in the laundry room that led to one of those cellar-door type stairs to the patio, unscrewed the deadbolt lock with my leatherman tool and went to the patio. I then picked up a garbage can full of ice and a pretty full keg of Leinie's Red, somehow walked down the stairs without falling, went through the laundry room and kicked open the door to the room we were drinking in, Keg in arms, to a room full of confusion and then applause. It was a pretty sweet moment, but my back hurt like nobody's business the next day. Along with my head, and my lungs, and some other miscellaneous bits.

Haha, Leo I can't tell if youre being sarcastic or not...

Parahen...you carried a whole keg through a house? it usually takes like three or four of my buddies to move just the keg, let alone the keg in the garbage can full of ice and shit. I'm throroughly impressed.

Works for me.

Also, tonight I snuck into the bar with a few well over age friends of mine. We were drinking beer and having a grand ol' time, when suddenly a man in a backwards baseball cap (who was severely inebriated) started some shit with this dude in a cowboy hat. I don't know if he just didn't notice or simply didn't care, but there were about thirty other dudes wearing cowboy hats. Maybe where you live this wouldn't be a big deal, but I live in hick central, and the bar stopped dead. It was a karaoke bar and even the woman screeching her lungs off to Black Velvet shut up and looked his way. Within two minutes the entire bar had pounced on his ass and beat him to a bloody pulp. I'm not even embellishing, I hope that guy made it to the hospital. He was carted out of the bar and things returned to normal.

So, yeah, you-had-to-be-there/drunk, like me.

I was pretty plastered at the moment, so it was like a drunken adrenaline surge or something, I don't think I could do it if i realized what I were doing.

I've got one from earlier this year, not as good as DMI's but that's okay.

So it's a Friday night in early in Fall quarter. My friend Andrew and I need to find a party, since all our mutual friends are in the marching band and didn't want to go out when they have to wake up at 4am on gameday. Andrew knows about a party through some random friend, so we check it out. Lots of women, and free beer. Who could complain, right?

Since we didn't really know anyone, and there seemed to be plenty of already established circles of people, Andrew and I decided we needed to do something drastic to change our social situation. So after a few drinks, he and I head to the keg and start yelling "OUT OF THE WAY, WE DOT THE I!" ( Dotting the i is an OSU tradition, a senior sousaphone player gets the honor in Script Ohio, and it's a pretty highly respected thing around here). Since we knew no one from the band would be there, there was no real risk of getting outed.

Word starts to get around, and we attract a group of girls. They start asking stuff about it, and we both know plenty about it so things go smoothly. He gets one girl, I get another, random party hookup happens, all is well.

And that's how being a filthy liar can get you ass.

I don't have any good stories, I only make it through parties half the time and by the time I pass out the party is just getting started :( Here's a bad story: my second time getting really drunk, I got so fucking drunk that I threw up over 30 times over the period of a couple hours and it really fucking sucked, I thought I was going to die

That's never fun. I've walked into a night club then woken up on my parents front yard covered in dirt and my own vomit and piss with no idea how I got there.

Sadly I can't think of any good stories at the moment. I'll think of something later.

Not sarcastic. .


Paraphen good work man.

The only drunken story I have isn't a good one frankly in my opinion.

One time we were at this 100 case party and things had been going for a couple hours, and I had pre-drunked (my term for how much my friends and I pre-game) so I was feeling pretty good. In any case, this drunk ass comes out on to the porch and starts chanting "5-1-3!" real loud. Being drunk, and being a rabid Bengals fan all my life, I threw common sense to the wind (I am in no way from Cincinnati...like a good hour away) and figured I would help him out.

As luck would have it, this chick standing right next to me was actually from Cincinnati...one thing led to another, she was pretty drunk, and got all excited I was from Cincy, and the next thing I know we're making out on this porch.

Now, I would have been perfectly content not speaking another word about my so-called hometown, but she kept asking me all these questions, and I kept coming up with lies. I had a friend from Cincy, and I basically just spewed out all his information as if it were my own...I said I was from Blue Ash, went to Sycamore High, loved Clifton (a big party area around UC) etc etc.

We ended up back at my room, hooked up all night, and I really just didn't give a second thought to all these lies I had stacked on one another, and we just ended up passing out after we finished.

The worst was the next morning, when I wake up all groggy and realize who she is and the events of last night. I woke up still pretty drunk, and unfortunately for me, STILL KEPT LYING about where I was from. I also came to the horrible realization I had major drunk goggles on and this girl was not that attractive below the face. She's a softball player or something and was pretty mucular, and I just immedeately regretted everything.

Long story short, I ended up coming clean to her...she was pretty creeped out, but in the end we became pretty close friends (although will never hook up again) and we can laugh about it freely now.

Lying for pussy ftw

I've never heard anyone actually shout about their area code like that. I didn't think people actually did that. 513 isn't a place to be proud of, anyway. But yeah, I partied in Clifton this past weekend. Good stories.

I am a nerd. I get drunk with other nerds. There is drunken rubik's cube and much computer science discussion. I usually find someone to have a drunken conversation in German with. Then, my less-drunk boyfriend leads me back to his place where I say stupid things and he humors me until I fall asleep.

Not my best but most recent. This weekend, I blacked out after me and my three friends drank a handle and a half of Banker's Club. I guess I climbed up a hill by using tree branches as handles and told my friend I wanted to have sex a thousand times in ten minutes.

k what's a handle?

1.75 liters. Do they not use that terminology down under?

Literally the bottles of liquor so big they have handles to hold on to them with.

Insaniac, yea, I don't know what it is about people from Ohio and shouting their area codes and being so proud of them is all about. I know rabid 937 people, 513 people, 440 people, etc. I think its just people trying to be like Eminem, or Lil Flip or any other rapper who has at least made one entire song dedicated to their area codes. Cincy is a helluva city to be proud of from, but preppy white boys from the suburbs of the city prolly should not go into over the rhine and start a 513 chant.

Clifton fucking rocks. Always have a great time down there. Probably the only true aspect of that story is my love for Clifton

No they do not. Of Spirits or of beer?

Our beer comes in throwbacks (250ml), cans(375ml), stubbies(375ml glass bottle) and longnecks (700ml glass bottle).

I'm very burnt out. I have some good ass stories though. I promise

Basically this, except without the German.

Hard A.

http://forums.404daily.com/index.php?showtopic=1970

Aside from that, uh, nothing really. I've had a couple spots where I get plastered and really depressed, and there was that time I was out west visiting my mom's side of the family and the lot of us put a huge dent in my uncle's supply of scotch. Your standard Irish wake.

Jesus. I'm nerdy too, but I don't talk about that when I'm drunk. Maybe it's because I'm not that smart, and being drunk makes it worse. The nerdiest things I've done while drunk is play DDR and SSBM. I was surprisingly better at DDR, and I didn't get tired as fast.

My one friend and I have had some pretty vicious Star Trek arguments while drunk/on drugs

right now, iwas drunk and posted on 404.

I feel like drunk DDR would make me so sick...

I haven't done a lot of drunken DDR, though I tried it once and did fine. Alcohol actually makes me better at smash up to a point, then I get a lot worse. I also play my favorite custom map in Starcraft drunk sometimes, and I do just fine at it.

You have to start when you're just buzzed, and stop when you start feeling sick. I felt fine after playing it, in fact I was surprised I felt as good as I did. And I was especially surprised that I didn't fall down, although it was close a couple of times.

Still did better than my friend who tried it for the first time (he was sober). He literally fell on his ass.

The first time I ever got drunk (well, maybe not totally drunk, but...yeah), I had been drinking nothing but wine from a box in my fridge. Nothing cool happened. I just called my boyfriend at the time and yelled at him for not hanging out with me on valentine's day and he hung up on me. I had been drinking once before that, just not drunk. My friends got drunk though, and one held a paper upside down and read it out loud while another tried to make out with her and another counted all the zits on her forehead (there were 28).

One time, I got drunk with my friend Sheradain and she humped me while I screamed with laughter and our friend (who only had one leg) recorded it as a video on his cell phone.

Another time, I was drunk with Nate and some friends of ours and I really wanted tacos. For some reason, I thought one guy hadn't been drinking and I begged him to go get me some tacos. Nate was like "stfu you're drunk and so is everyone else and no one is going to go buy you tacos," and I got REALLY mad that I couldn't have tacos so I shoved a shitload of pellets from Sheradain's boyfriend's air-soft gun into my mouth and spat them out at people. Nate, who had been drinking but was not completely retarded, chased me around the house demanding that I spit them all out before I choked. I refused, and spat some at him, demanding tacos. He said "if you don't spit them out, you can't have tacos," so I spit them all out. Then he hid the pellets and said I still couldn't have tacos. I got mad and went to bed.

Another time, I wanted to give Nate a lap dance, but he was like half asleep and didn't want it so I laid down in the bathtub (no water or anything) and cried for pretty much the entire night.

And another time, Nate and I had been drinking,and I smacked him on the arm because we were playing around, and he punched me in the back, and it hurt, so I screamed at him and then I ran away from home on my bicycle. I was riding in circles in a parking lot a few blocks away when Sheradain came looking for me. She took me back home and Nate was asleep. I got mad at him for being asleep (instead of awake and worried) while I was out all by myself at like 1 in the morning and could have been raped/pillaged/etc., so I threw an empty cat litter container at him and then took a bath in my clothes.

yay

Some people call it blacking out...I call it time-travel.

Dagger Jane...:applause:

Those last three stories were hilarious. I can totally relate to being drunk and just NEEDING something. One time I just wanted some innocent ol' pizza. I took my friends phone, as I was planning something dastardly, and ordered 15 pizzas. Then I hid his phone so noone could answer it when the pizza guy got there (living in a dorm they have to call) and then stood in front of my window laughing as the pizza guy called my buddy literally 20 times, and then sped off in frustration after a good half hour of waiting.

That's fucking harsh dude. Awesome but harsh.

One time, I got drunk and called Fake Pr0n. I asked him if he knew Lupe Fiasco. Then I told him i was dead and i had drowned in a pool.

That same night, I cried because my boyfriend ate duck.

Hah, I just remembered the time I drunk dialed Rei while he was having sex with his girlfriend. I can't fathom why he answered.

because he actually was just thizzing and jacking off in the bathtub.

During last thanksgiving I was piss drunk and super stoned in my friend's basement, and it was like 6 AM, so I went upstairs looking for food in their kitchen. I ended up making this giant omelet out of the remnants off their Thanksgiving ham, a bunch of cheddar cheese and like 5 eggs or something.

Apparently everyone downstairs thought I was going to the bathroom though, so they were really confused when I came back with an omelet. Man was that good though. Mmmmmm, omelets.

omg I cried once because MY boyfriend ate duck. twins etc omg

My one buddy tells me that whenever he usually is scheming up some drunken way to antagonize people he often asks himself "What would Ajay do?"

I get mean.

Oh yeah, one time I answered the phone while having sex.

I chronically do that, and I never understand why...like, for some reason, especially when I'm drunk, somehow the person on the phone is more important than getting laid. But then I always get yelled at and I say I'll never do it again, but then I always do it again. Trippy.

I fucked on the phone and talked to my grandma. She called in the middle, what am I suppose to do. And no, she didn't know I was doing it.

Feerny wins the topic.

I have real drunk stories. I'm just way too god damn lazy to write them all out.

I promise I will tell you guys about them. Someday soon.

I suck.

How bout at summer camp?

Fuck yes, perfect place. Then.